Dumpty’s
Diaries Page 2
The
gingie-crew
Dippi-Duck and Willi Whizkas.
They have become quite a mouse-hunting team albeit very unsuccessful!
I
have never lowered myself to eat insects, and I cannot believe that Dippi-Duck,
now that she has the 24 hour feline-feeding station on the kitchen floor, would
rather each such rubbish than wonderful kibbles.
Maid
says it’s because we are still rehabilitating Dippi-Duck. She only arrived here
in August having been shaved of her fur. Then she had to have 6 teeth removed
before being weaned off human food onto cat food.
However
the human’s meal times are a ‘must-attend’ social event for the gingie-crew as
they both sit by Manservant shamelessly begging scraps from his plates. They
even, and this is the height of bad manners, they get onto the dining table and
try to paw food off Manservant’s plate.
I
have never resorted to such undignified behaviour, and when offered scraps of
the human’s food have gracefully declined as if being offered poison. However,
no cat should have to beg food from a human. Humans are staff, they to serve us
they should not have to be reminded to feed us.
I do
not eat what staff eat. They have their own inferior food to eat.
I’d
rather same room for the gorgeous kibbles which only have my name on.
Maid’s version
Dumpty
has never had any enthusiasm for any food other than cat meat.
Occasionally
she may eat some of the sliced chicken we buy for Dippi-Duck, but we suspect
that this is perhaps to annoy Dippi-Duck!
I
cannot get Dippi-Duck to eat kibbles. We are still rehabilitating her and wet
food is her limit and it was a real struggle to get her onto that. However she
can hear a plate of our food hit the table from a comatose slumber down at the
bottom of the garden and come waddling to beg. She will eat anything, curry,
sweet and sour, she will try and gobble down anything. This is not good for
her, so she is now being weaned of this. When I first had her she would not
touch cat food in any form, she had been very malnourished when rescued, almost
on the point of starvation. Clearly she had been fending for herself. It took
weeks before she finally ate a small mouthful of Gourmet cat meat. Ecstatic at
the progress, I cleared the supermarket shelf of this variety, only to have her
not bother the next day. Good old dependable Gut-Truck ate the lot. She
currently on sachets of Felix and Purina One and she is looking a lot better
than the day she first arrived here at
Day 16
Late
start to the day, good job these kibbles don’t go stale, attract flies or crust
over like wet food does. In fact I was so dead to the world I didn’t hear maid
pour them into my crystal bowl.
Last
night Maid was drinking champagne, the catnip for human’s which always makes
her silly she even scooped me up and waltzed me round the room in a dance. Then
she kissed my tummy fur then my whiskers.
I
wish she wouldn’t do that, so unhygienic. You don’t know where humans have been.
She simply doesn’t seem to accept that I don’t do the kissy-thing.
I’m far
too regal. Whereas Willi Whizkas is a complete tart and kisses every human he
comes across. Stupid cat.!
Maid
went to bed late, and very giggly. She fidgeted all night so I didn’t get much
sleep. Then at
So
this morning I’d overslept
Maid’s version
Madam
actually got off the bed and joined us in the lounge for the evening. She’s not
normally this social!
Willi
Whizkas got into one of his scraps in the middle of the night again. I don’t
know who he has fistipuffs with as he’s quite friendly with Mikey-mike,
Day 17
Reminder
to self, Sack Maid.
I was
sitting on my duvet inspecting my paws when I glanced out of the window. Maid
had taken a few of my wonderful kibbles, about 6 of them and was hand feeding
them one by one to Mikey-mike. He in turn was parading round her legs, purring
and drooling.
Mikey-mike is a vagrant, a
tom-cat-tramp. A low life cat that couldn’t keep hold of his own humans and now
has to beg for a living. I am happy that he has kitchen scraps from
Strawberries
to a pig clattered through my air-head mind!
Mikey-mike
can multi-task. He purrs hisses, meows and growls at the same time. Maid loves
him, obviously easily seduced b y his charlatan tricks.
I have
a horrific vision of Mikey-mike being allowed into the house, or even worse,
adopted as a
I had
to make my opinions on this very clear. When Maid came in, despite washing her
hands, when she came to stroke me I hissed quite violently, as if to say I
could still smell Mikey-mike on her hands.
My
reprimand was laughed at she picked me up cuddling me telling me I was the only
love of her life. She soon was back in my good books as the new kibbles were
poured out for me to enjoy.
Maid’s version
Mikey-mike
came round for his usual feed. I gave him a few of the new cat kibbles and he
seemed to enjoy them. I feel sorry for him as he’s such a character, very
vocal. He can’t decide whether to purr or growl! He needs a good groom and
someone to love him, he’s a sweetheart! Willi Whizkas and Dippi-Duck don’t seem
at all bothered by him. He eats his food from the bowl by the gate, but will
never step paw through the gate, no matter how hard he is encouraged. It’s as
if he is grateful for his food but doesn’t want to intrude on the other’s cat’s
territory!
When
Dumpty has seen him through the window, she gives him a real snotty look.
Day 18
I
thought that I had died and gone to heaven this morning. When I woke up I could
hear the most angelic sound. It was a very loud, comforting purr. It reminded
me of when I was a kitten, all warm and secure snuggled up to my mummy-cat. I
kept my eyes closed as I held onto that wonderful image. I’m not sure what it was,
but it was very loud, it must have come from a heck of a big cat as it seemed
to reverberate all round the house. I found it very comforting and lay there
for ages before Maid come in to give me my kibbles.
I then
went to lie in the lounge by the fireplace so that I could hear more of the
wonderful purring
Later
in the day, I walked in on staff having an argument. I suddenly thought that if
one of them left, who would I choose if I had to? It has to be Maid; she serves
my every need and has been trained to a very high level of personal service,
although sometimes she falls far short of the mark. Therefore the argument was
all Manservant’s’ fault.
If I
wasn’t so finely groomed I would have furballs, and if I had furballs, I would
sick one up on Manservant’s pillow. Teach him a lesson for shouting at Maid.
Maid came
to lie on the bed with me which meant extra kibbles, a good groom and a hug.
Staff should shout at each other more often! I always get loads of attention
after they have had a scrap.
Gingie-crew
didn’t bat an eyelid during the row. Both of them were snuggled up in the
snooozzeee.
Maid’s version
At
last, it’s arrived! I ordered a CD from thedailymews.com. It was a steal at £6 and
it’s really unusual and therapeutic. It’s relaxing music with cats purring.
Sounds bonkers, but it’s very soothing! I put it on quite loud as I was doing
the housework and Dumpty seemed to enjoy it, she was curled up tight on the bed
and she was purring to herself then came into the lounge. I must admit I thought
it was rather unusual (that’s why I purchased it) but I too found it quite
relaxing to hear the rhythmic purring in the music!
Dumpty
had a good groom on the bed today and was quite content to let me feed her
kibbles one by one, instead of just snorking them up from her bowl. It was a
really nice way to pass the time. She even managed to grace me with a purr!
Purina called
today to see how we are going on with the trial. Two very good bits of news to
report; firstly, and this is a bit delicate! When Madam visited her grit-box on
her previous diets, the smell is horrendous and we race for the air freshener
and quickly throw the grit box outside as we get a fresh clean one in. With
these kibbles we have noticed the smell is almost nil. In fact during the past
few days we’ve looked in the box, and thought “How long has that been there?”
We also note that the brown discharge which results in overnight ‘crusties’ in
her eyes which we continually gently wipe away for her is almost no longer
occurring. So I’m quite amazed. I did say that if Little Dumpty Roo took to the
food I’d be happy, anything would be a bonus; well I’ve certainly seen quite a
few bonuses as we have gone on.
Day 19
Maid
went out for the evening. She went out with other maids who have feline charges
so I imagine they spent the whole evening in cat chat. I can’t imagine what
else humans have to talk about for hours and hours.
She
came home smelling of red wine and gave me kisses. Yuk!!
Before
she fell into bed, thankfully she remembered to top up my kibble bowl. I took
my time eating them, making each one last as long a possible. A real
Maid’s version
I had
an evening out. Dippi-Duck was pressed up against the glass door doing meet and
greet as she always does when I come back from work or going out. Surprisingly
Dumpty seemed pleased to see me, she managed a yawn, a good stretch and a bit
of fuss when I went into the bedroom, but I expect this was a result of
cupboard love!!
I put
some kibbles out for her then went to bed, and instantly regretted spoiling her
as she purred, crunched and slurped whilst I was trying to get to sleep.
Day 20
Last
night I watched white flakes fall from the sky, it was very beautiful and the
garden turned white all over. It was cold by the window so I went to wake Maid
up by padding on her left boob at 3am. Then I burrowed down under the duvet and
snuggled up next to her knees where it was all warm.
This
morning the garden was all white and I sat supervising my blackbirds as they
greedily ate the raisins by the French window.
Dippi-Duck
went out into the garden and seemed to enjoy herself rolling in the white stuff
and even walking on the pond without falling in the water which was some feat.
When
Maid opened the windows I felt really curious and went outside, which is very
adventurous for me! I tentatively put my paws into the white stuff and took a
few paces. It was very cold and the white stuff stuck to my pantaloon when I
sat down. This frightened me and I dashed straight back inside and onto the
bed.
Thankfully the white stuff disappeared into my
duvet cover and made it all wet. Panic over!
I
then had a good feast on my kibbles before a well deserved snooze.
Mikey-mike
came round. He was crying at the gate for food so loudly he disturbed my dreams;
Maid went to sort him out so that I could carry on with my beauty sleep.
Maid’s version
3am
and Madam came to wake me by giving me a moggy-massage on my chest. She then crept
under the duvet and went to sleep. She’s never down that before so I didn’t
dare go back to sleep in case I disturbed her, so I lay awake listening to her
gentle purrs till 7am.
Another
first! Madam went outside into the snow which had fallen over night. She never
goes out! The ‘Arctic Adventure’ didn’t last long, after 10 seconds she was
inside with a look of pure horror on her face and her backside covered in snow
which promptly melted onto the duvet cover!
Mikey-mike
came round. Poor chap was frozen and desperately hungry. I’d put the bowl
marked ‘dog’ and some fresh water into a plastic caddy last night to cover them
from the falling snow. He was very vocal demanding food and he wolfed the
scraps down in a matter or nanno-seconds!
Day 21
Maid
was awake and up before I opened my eyes. I could hear her changing my grit
tray (or bot box as I call it) in the kitchen. She has very high standards of
hygiene, I’m impressed with the level of service here at
When I opened my eyes, my
crystal bowl wasn’t on the bed. Instead was a line of kibbles. I stretched,
yawned and then nibbled the first kibble, then the next as I worked my way to
the edge of the bed. The trail the carried on onto the carpet, so I slipped
down and began crunching my way out of the bedroom, across the hallway and
through the lounge.
Clearly
Willi Whizkas was outside; otherwise the big ginger gut-truck would have
scoffed them all. The trail ended at the French windows where, quite exhausted,
I took up position watching my pet blackbirds for an hour.
So
much exercise in the morning is not good for an old girl and I had soon nodded
off in the warm sunshine that was streaming through the glass.
Maid’s version
I
thought I would have a bit of fun with Dumpty this morning. Whilst she was
still asleep I laid a trail of kibbles from where she was asleep to the French
windows. I was surprised that she actually joined in the fun and waddled along
eating each one before flopping down, like the lazy girl she is, to watch the
blackbirds for a while.
Day 22
Today
I woke up with a real bounce in my paws. 6am, time to wake Maid up with a
massage on her wobbly tummy and a good loud purr. I know that she appreciates
the attention even though she pretends to be asleep. Eventually I am rewarded
with my bowl of kibbles.
I
then followed Maid round until she finally cottoned on that I wanted to play,
something I haven’t bothered to do for some time. We played ‘sploshes’, my
favourite game. Maid waggles a peacock feather over sheet on newspaper and I put
my ears back, eyes go large as I lunge forward over the paper making a great
noise with my paws as I pat at the feather. Half an hour later, and I was quite
exhausted, my paws were almost on fire from galloping over the carpet.
I
then took up residence on the basket of laundry, still warm from the tumble dryer.
I was just nodding off when Manservant caught me and scufted me off. So back to
my duvet for a few more kibbles and a snooze
Maid’s version
Another
day where Dumpty seems full of energy. I was woken early by claws picking at my
tummy as Madam had a glazed look on her eyes purring away as she padded on my
tummy. I kept my eyes closed in case she stopped doing it. After kibbles she
followed my into the lounge and started playing with a peacock feather eyes
back. I was impressed by her pelt which is looking quite silky and in good
condition and her energy.
Day 23
I
slept for most of the day. Maid didn’t go the place called work but was in and
out for most of the day. I don’t like disruptions to my snooze routine. I need
my beauty sleep. 23 hours is never enough.
Maid
fed me my kibbles at lunchtime and picked me up for a cuddle as we stood at the
window watching who trundled through the gardens of
I slept for most of the
afternoon and evening then into the night. Maid came to bed and soon was
snoring. The noise is so irritating, I think that red wine stuff she drinks
aggravates it. So after much huffing I went into the front room and sat by the
French windows. The gingie-crew were there too, so I sat apart from them.
Riff-Raff. A fox came into the garden and snuffled up all the scraps put out
for the birds. He came right up to the window and peered in at us.
Dippi-Duck
started growling at him which resulted in Maid rushing into the room. Maid was
almost hysterical at the sight of a fox at the other side of the glass. The fox
just looked at us all then carried on eating the blackbird food from the brick
by the window. Eventually he jumped over the wall into next door’s garden.
Maid’s version
OHMYGOD!!!
We have a fox!!
I
heard Dippi-Duck making a noise in the night and went to investigate. I was
shocked! A fox was right outside the window and was totally oblivious of us. I
think he must be tame, as he just looked up at me and the 3 cats staring at him
and wasn’t at all bothered.
New security will be
implemented here at
What
was odd was Willi Whizkas didn’t react. It was as if he had seen him before and
wasn’t bothered by him. Willi Whizkas does spend many nights in the garden, so
I guess that the fox must be part of the garden’s nightly visitors.
Day 24
I
heard Maid talking to Sarah on the phone. Sarah runs the most amazing holiday
centre for refined upper class posh felines, called, very appropriately, ‘The
Cat’s Whiskers’. It’s approved by
I
listened eagerly to the call and was pleased to hear that my new cat-kibbles
have been organised for my stay there. I have heard tales of catteries where
the catering has been simply appalling and some poor cats simply waste away.
Sarah
is an absolute sweetie; she always caters to my exacting tastes. She grooms me
to perfection and tells me I am very beautiful. I like Sarah.
I
cannot wait for my designer ‘cat-cargo’ cat basket to me bought down from the
attic as this signals the start of my holiday.
I
celebrated the news of my forthcoming luxury break at The Cat’s Whiskers by
clearing every one of the kibbles from my buffet bar.
I
wonder what staff do whilst we are away for a whole two weeks? I imagine they
just sit around here at
Maid’s version
Booked
my holiday!! Before I book anything I always see if the cattery is able to take
the cats. If it isn’t, then no holiday!! They only go to The Cat’ Whiskers,
they don’t go anywhere else as its
As
part of the booking, I’ve ensured that the new kibbles are part of Dumpty’s
diet whilst she’s there. She’s really enjoying them!
Day 25
I am
sitting on my bed in quite a huff. My tail is flicking with displeasure.
I went to see
Saint Ben of Park Street Veterinary Centre today, and I am so annoyed as Willi
Whizkas came too. I went for a check up to see how my leg is after it started
to irritate me when Maid changed the washing powder she uses to wash my duvet
cover in.
My only pleasure
during the visit was the discomfort of Willi Whizkas. He has to have surgery.
His teeth need cleaning and his fangs sharpening.
Saint
Ben is so gentle with me. I would have liked to have seen him today to show him
how my shaved leg is getting on after a problem last month. The fur is growing
back nicely, and I love it when he tells me how marvellous my set of whiskers is.
When
I had a problem last month he made me a designer plastic collar to wear around
my neck. I was blown away to have such a fabulous fashion accessory. The other
two cats looked on with envy as I sashayed around the house in it.
I had to go private, the average vet’s
waiting room always smells of disinfectant and you have to sit in a chilly room
taking your chance along with an assortment of other animals, including motley
mutts who think nothing of mooching up to your basket and shoving their wet
snout through the wire for a good sniff. And the moaning from some of the
animals, pathetic mewling and disgruntled grunts just makes the wait even more
horrendous especially when the surgery is taken up with some old lady
whittering away for hours giving the vet the complete life story, holiday
capers and dietary requirements of Twinkles, (some bad tempered, ugly furrball,
to whom she is leaving all her worldly goods when she croaks), who only came in
for an injection
I was
greatly surprised when I attended my first appointment with Saint Ben of
When I
was tipped from my basket onto the examining table last month after my leg
injury, I was allowed to parade up and down, head butting the Saint Ben, whilst
purring and telling him all about my problems. He paid me a lot of attention
whilst he chatted with Maid; in fact he seemed very interested in what I had to
say. Certainly no thermometer was used. But I had an injection of antibiotics
in my neck. It was done so quickly and carefully I didn’t even notice, not a
spit, hiss yelp or a growl passed my lips which was most surprising, and then
my leg was shaved.
What I
really liked was that I was consulted too. Normally vets just jabber away to
your humans as if you aren’t in the room then do things to you without
consulting you, so I really appreciated being asked what was wrong with me and
then being given the chance to quite clearly chat to Saint Ben in my own
inimitable way.
When I got home I got a present
from Maid. A stuffed Bagpuss to cuddle up to and rest my head on as I had the
plastic collar on, although of what medical value Bagpuss was I’ll never know!
The pampering was upgraded whilst I was convalescing; Maid l said I was a brave
little angel so I milked the sympathy for all I was worth.
I am
just so disgusted that Willi Whizkas has been allowed to be treated by Saint
Ben, my personal private surgeon.
I
made my disgust known to Maid by not eating my kibbles. So she picked me and
the plate up off the bed and we went into Bliss Spa. After a good brush, purr
and roll on the carpet, I had come round just enough to eat the kibbles.
Maid’s version
Willi
Whizkas teeth inspection was were due. He mewled and cried like a baby all the
way to the vet and back. He’s 12 next month. When the trial with Dumpty is over
I shall try him on the new kibbles as he’s looking a bit threadbare these days
Little
Dumpty Roo had a problem last month and had to have her back left leg shaved
and wear a collar which didn’t bother her, the fur has recently started to grow
back quite nicely, and I’ve notice her skin is not as irritated as it was when
she had her problem. The vet we take our moggies to is absolutely wonderful, I
have 100% faith in him, and he really goes the extra mile for us. Wills is
booked in to have his teeth cleaned next week.
Day 26
Had a
mogicure last night. The tips of my specially sharpened claws were clipped off
by Maid. She calls them ‘lazy-cat claws’ as I don’t go outside.
Not
sure about the blunt ends, but they feel so much nicer shortened. I shall have
to sharpen them up again. There is a scratching post in the lounge, but it’s
communal. Dippi-Duck and Willi Whizkas use it, even though they go out and
sharpen their claws on the side of the shed. It’s covered in old claw sheaths,
which is a bit yukky. It’s also a good 15 metre walk from my really comfy duvet
which can be a bit tiresome. Instead I sharpen them on the end corner of Maid’s
£1,000 new bed. I have shredded my way through the valance and the base of the
mattress now resembles a coconut. So much easier on my claws than a sisal scratching
post. I don’t think that Maid has noticed the damage!
I sat
by the French windows this morning. Too rainy for blackbirds to come down to
amuse me. I did watch Maid out in the driving rain servicing my grit boxes. I
often wonder what she does with the contents of the grit box. Does she have a
collection of my droppings in the shed?
It
was quite a grim day. Gingie-crew both came in soaking wet and dirty from their
forays outside and wolfed down the cat meat that had been put down for them
this morning. It had dried and gone crusty, most unappetising, and half of it
had fallen of the plate and stuck to the floor.
Then they cuddled up in the
snoozzee. Dippi-Duck was so aggressive when she first came here and duffed
Wills up quite regularly. Now look at them, inseparable!
That’s
the beauty of my kibbles, they don’t make a mess. Not that they are hanging
around for long, I’m really enjoying them.
Maid’s version
Dumpty’s
claws get quite long and sharp as she is such a lazy, indoors cat. Crunch comes
when she starts puncturing my skin when she pads and purrs on my tummy through
my nightie or the sheet first thing in the morning before the
She
doesn’t mind me clipping the ends of the claws off. But little monkey has
ruined the corners of my new bed!! She
has ripped my valance to bits. She sometimes has a good claw at the sisal mat
by the front door.
I
wish I could get Dippi-Duck to eat kibbles. My heart fell when I walked into
the kitchen and saw the mess they had made in cat-food-corner. The gravy and
jelly had dried on the floor so took some time cleaning up.
Day 27
When
I sat at the glass pane of the front door and gazed out across the driveway I
saw Mikey-mike bimble through the lavender hedge to his bowl by the gate to
partake in the scraps from the kitchens at
I
simply had no ideas float into my bimbo air-head to answer this conundrum.
Wills then informed me that it was my entire fault. Mikey-mike survives on
scraps. Whatever we cats or humans leave at meal times is put out into the bowl
marked ‘Dog’ for Mikey-mike by the gated entrance to Tom Cat Towers and he
takes his chance with any other cat who comes for a free feed.
However
as I have been snorking down the new kibbles, the wastage here at Tom Cat
Towers has gone down considerably, thus there is not so much for Mikey-mike. In
the past I have been quite a Princess Picky Pants and food has been wasted as I
have turned my nose up at a variety of offerings. Mikey-mike’s waistline has
expanded greatly since he adopted my Maid as his lady friend. He calls twice a
day to vocally declare his utter love for her!
But
in no way am I sharing my new kibbles, no matter how hard up Mikey-mike may be.
He
will just have to tighten his belt.
Maid’s version
One
good thing about these kibbles is that Dumpty can’t get enough of them!
I have
started to buy extra food for Mikey-mike, my gentleman caller. He is such a
nice cat, I feel so sorry for him.
Day 28
Feeling
rather energetic after a good feast on my kibbles, I ventured into the Bliss
Spa where Maid was soaking in the tub. I could hardly see her with all the
steam and bubbles. I do like the fragrance she uses, Molton Brown Rose Granati,
very delicate. Sometime after she has used the body spray, it transfers to my
fur and smells very elegant.
She
seemed please to see me as she peered over the top of the tub, she even ‘pussed
pussed’ me, but there was no way I was voluntarily jumping into the bath water
to join her, so I lay on my back purring until she was out and dry, and we had
a good session grooming my pelt. Then she produced some kibbles, even though I
had just had a good plateful, I couldn’t stop myself from drooling as she hand
fed them individually into my mouth.
Bliss
Spa, Bliss kibbles, what more can an up-market girl-cat want?
Willi
Whizkas was picked up yesterday by one of our humans. His teeth look a bit
yellow and his gums a bit red. His breath isn’t too fresh either. I got a
broadside the other day when he breathed in my direction. The foul whiff almost
knocked me of my paws, I’m sure my whiskers curled at the end!! His diet isn’t
too healthy, voles, mice and ants so I’m not surprised his breath stinks. I
just hope he is taken to see Saint Ben of
Maid’s version
Dumpty
does seem a bit more energetic than usual. She jumped off the bed and came to
find me whilst I was having a bath. I keep an old Estee Lauder Special
Collection talcum powder tub in the bathroom with the new kibbles in so we can
have time together. She likes me to groom her then hand feed her with them as a
treat.
She’s
getting me well trained!
Day 29
Gallopy-gallopy.
What a great game, I am really into this. So much energy.
At
Maid
and Manservant got quite angry. I did invite them to join me by landing on
their beds, but they both just shut me out of their bedrooms so when I had
exhausted myself, I jumped up onto the kitchen sink to watch the hedgehogs and
fox in the garden
Complete stroke of luck. I
found the supply of kibbles on the work surface, I knocked the pack over and as
Maid wasn’t around I helped myself.
Successful
night all round, gallopy-gallopy and kibbles.
Maid’s version
Dumpty
had the devil in her. She seems to have so much energy! She was thundering
round like a loon in the early hours so I shut my bedroom door after she’d
tharummped across the carpet and jumped on me three times.
And
she has become a thief. She stole some kibbles from the pack. She was fast
asleep by the pack with kibbles spilled all around her on the work surface. So
the paw of suspicion definitely pointed at her. The other two cats were tucked
up together fast asleep in the other room.
Day 30
Willi
Whizkas tells me that in a few days Maid will be 50 years old.
Fifty!!!
I didn’t realise that humans’ lived that long!
Various
parcels and presents have been arriving, but none of them smell of catnip, so
I’ve lost interest in sniffing them.
Lots
of bottles of champagne have arrived. That’s a worry. If red wine makes Maid
giggle, then champagne sends her totally loopy. A sort of catnip for humans!
It
has been quite interesting plodding around
She
came back quite late from a night out with other maids, and it was clear that
she had been indulging in that champagne stuff, as she insisted on blowing
raspberries on my tummy and giggling. How dreadful! I managed to leave the
bedroom, tail erect, dignity intact!
I
just know tomorrow that I shall have to purr extra loud in her ear about 6am to
get her to get out of bed and feed me, otherwise she will lie there all morning
feeling sorry for herself, not what one expects from one’s staff..
Maid’s version
Coming
up to a busy weekend; my 50th birthday! I was impressed that Dumpty actually
had the energy to come and follow me around, probably just being nosy, fearful
that she’s missing out on something. Even though I’m up to my ears with
presents arriving and evenings out to celebrate.
She’s
almost been supervising!
This evening I
had another night out having dinner with wonderful people who make life special
and understand completely how dotty I am about my moggies, The best ‘present’ I
shall have when I wake up on my birthday is a cuddle and purr from my Little
Dumpty Roo!
Day 31
I sat
on my duvet today, and casually glanced into the mirrored wall. My pelt looks
amazing, and I’m sure there is a gloss on my whiskers. I feel so full of energy
too. Something here at
As I
am feeling and looking so fabulous, I have made a decision regarding staff. I
will promote Maid to my P.A.
I
purred my executive decision out to Maid, but somehow she didn’t seem too
impressed!
However,
this promotion is conditional. I will make sure that in her new contract of
employment, it is essential that I am fed exclusively on the gorgeous new
kibbles which I’ve been indulging on for the past 4 weeks.
In
fact, I have decided to eat nothing else and as a gesture of kindness out of
the goodness of my heart, I would like to let Mikey-mike have my old cat-kibbles
which are now in the garage as I clearly have no use for them now and feel
guilty that he is not getting the quantity of scraps which he used to have.
Maid’s version
The
Purina trial has been a success. There is a definite improvement in Dumpty’s
health, appearance and energy levels. I’m glad we volunteered for this as I’m
impressed with how she has come on over the past month, and how Purina have been in contact with us
all throughout the trail. They’re coming to film Little Dumpty Roo. Oh dear if
she was a diva before......
Maid!!
July 2010
Since I started my
diaries in February I thought I would add an update.
Sydney, the ginger
ex-mousing officer has moved away to the country where he has fields to hunt and
protect. I miss his adoring gaze.
Mikey-Mike
suffered during the very cold winter and Maid felt sorry for her charity cat,
her gentleman caller. She now buys him food and presents instead of the
agreement that he only had scraps and left overs.
When I first came to
Dippi-Duck spends
hours gazing at Sir Michael, but I think the love is unrequited!
Willi Whizkas has
befriended the fox. When the fox now comes to the French windows, Will has been
sitting right next to him as the fox chunters to him. The first time she saw
this Maid’s blood ran cold thinking the fox would attack the big ginger wuss,
but they seem to tolerate each other.
Part of Maid’s birthday pressie
pile. I am not amused!!
Maid turned 50. I
was horrified that practically every present was a bottle of the human catnip;
champagne. I hope that none was bought for her in my name, I do not want to be
associated with anything that sends her more loopy than she is. I need her to have a clear head to focus
fully on my needs as my personal assistant.
I have enjoyed my
new Purina kibbles and Maid continues to buy them for me. There is a variety
for her to choose from (Willi Whizkas has the PurinaOne neutered cat, very
fitting!)
I was dozing on my
duvet one morning when a film crew arrived to film me. I was thankful that Maid
had spent extra time on me the previous night in the Bliss Spa Executive Suite spending
time grooming my immaculate pelt and putting a show-cat shine on my whiskers. I
was pleased that I was looking my best when the cameras rolled. I carried out
my interview on my duvet, with a bowl of my favourite kibbles at hand. I was a
star!!
My Oscar winning perrrrformance