Dumpty’s
Diaries Page 1
Day 1
When
I first arrived at
My
two feline house-mates at the time would eat anything that was put down on the
floor for them and it was assumed (very wrongly) that as a rehomed cat I would
be grateful for the same arrangement and join in the pathetic mewling, begging and
the general free for all bun fight that took place when food was offered by our
humans; Maid and Manservant. This fight continues today with my house-mates
Willi Whizkas and Dippi-Duck; the gingie-crew.
This
had to stop. As a Himalayan Lynx, I am too posh to share food with riff-raff
cats, I only eat kibbles, not wet food, or food humans’ eat. So over a period
of weeks, many trial and mainly errors by my new staff, I decided that I would
eat only the most expensive cat-kibbles the humans could buy.
I
made it quite clear from the start that I would not be eating off the floor in
the kitchen with the other cats no matter how finely tuned they thought their
pedigree was. As a royal Himalayan Lynx I clearly out ranked the moth eaten Maine
Coon and the other cat who were already resident here at Tom Cat Towers, I
would only be dining alone in the main bedroom where I very generously allow one
of my human staff, I call her Maid, to sleep in a corner of the bed at night
should I require attention or food during the dark hours.
My kibbles must be
served in crystal bowls on my personal buffet bar on my designer Van Cleef and
Arpels Birmane red velvet shawl spread out on my Lulu Guinness duvet which
states, very appropriately; ‘Glamour Girl’.
I
ensure that I am served with my buffet bar before Maid even leaves the bedroom
first thing in the morning. She knows that my dietary requirements are her
first responsibility of the day, more important than making coffee for Manservant,
my back-up staff, who sleeps in the next room. I was therefore dismayed this
evening to see Maid fill my crystal bowl with new kibbles. It has taken a lot
of hard work to demand the kibbles I currently have, by means of self denial,
starvation, and general huffy hissy fits. I deserve the best; only expensive
kibbles for me.
However
the new kibbles did smell rather interesting. But I was not going to give Maid
the satisfaction of even giving them a cursory glance as I kept my eyes firmly
closed.
When
I was alone, I poked my delicate nose into the crystal bowl, and sniffed,
before I knew it I had gobbled the kibbles down. Not a crumb was left! This was
most unlike me, I have such high exacting standards and well polished manners,
I never ‘gobble’ food!
I had
enjoyed them so much I spent a good half hour washing my face and whiskers in
the hope of traces of delicious dust on my fur. Roll on the next meal!
Maid’s version!
Dumpty
is the ultimate ‘Princess Picky Pants’. She has no joy in food. We have tried
everything from the most exquisitely expensive to the cheapest, vilest and
nastiest in an attempt to tempt her to eat. She isn’t wild about ‘wet’ food for
two reasons:-
1. When she first arrived here at
2. She had a sensitive tummy
(sometimes with explosive results!) and she also suffered very badly with
stress cystitis which took some time to sort out as we settled her into her new
home at
Dumpty’s first day at 
.
Eventually
we found a dry cat food which she will pick at, but it’s very expensive. She
will not touch food which we humans eat such as chicken or tuna, and she refuses
to eat in the kitchen with our other two ‘ginger’ cats; Willi Whizkas a Maine
Coon and Serendipity Dippi-Duck (a very small, very brain damaged Persian) who
we rehomed a couple of months ago.
I
heard about the Purina trial and thought Dumpty may be suitable. I want to find
something which she enjoys, and will do her good. I get so frustrated and
desperate when she refuses to eat. Food is just a chore for her.
So,
with great trepidation I opened a pack if the new trial food. Madam was curled
up on the bed but managed to open one eye to see what was going on but she
wasn’t going to be bothered to get up as she can be a real lazy-girl and a diva.
I put her bowl of new kibbles on the bed and left her to it. When I came back,
they had all gone. Of course, it is possible that Willi Whizkas (also known as
Gut Truck) our beige Maine Coon cat that will eat anything (“Quantity over
quality at all times is his motto”!) could have slipped into the bedroom and
helped himself. That’s normally what happens when she doesn’t eat her food,
even though he knows he’s banned from the bedroom!
I
know for a fact it’s not Dippi-Duck, our brain damaged Persian cat who ate them
as she is still being rehabilitated after being found on the point of
starvation. For weeks she would only eat packs of processed chicken, beef or
ham and it was a real battle to get her to convert to proper wet cat food.
We
have ‘garden guests’; cats who come into our garden. We put cat food scraps out
for the hedgehogs and also Mikey-mike, a black and white stray cat who comes round.
He is desperate for food and a fuss. However, it’s first come, first served as
we also have Sydney, an old ginger tom cat who lives over the road, Juicy-Lucy and
Cuticles a ring-tailed tom who come and help themselves to whatever’s on offer
in the bowl we leave by the gate.
There
are several catnip bushes dotted around the gardens here at
Day 2
I
noticed that Maid picked up one of my favourite whiskers off my duvet. It had
dropped out of my magnificent winter collection of whiskers during the night. I
wonder if it can be stuck back in again?
When
I gazed into the mirrored wall by my bed as I was lounging on my side having
had a good bowlful of the new kibbles this morning, I noticed my coat is a
little lacklustre. I really could do with a good grooming session. Last month I
had to wear a plastic collar as I had a leg injury and I kept biting the wound!
Darn collar has worn the fur off from my neck. I look a little lopsided!
I had a bit of a burst of
energy, so I popped down from my nice clean duvet cover, padded across the
hallway, pushed the bathroom door open then entered the Bliss Spa.
This
room makes me purr.
There
is a large white tub in the corner of the room where my humans quite bizarrely immerse their pink furless bodies for a good
half an hour in hot water and flowery fragrances. Quite ridiculous! But there
is something rather pleasurable about rubbing my fur around their warm wet legs
when they get out of the water and wrap themselves in warm towels.
I
like to throw myself on my back and allow Maid or Manservant to comb my tummy
as I lie on the floor in Bliss Spa. Sometimes I will reward their attention
with purrs. I then put one arm up, then the next so that they can comb my
armpits. Next my fluffy furry pantaloons and feet are combed and kissed as I
lie there in heaven being groomed. My tail is back combed to perfection then a
good stretch up the tiled wall as my back is brushed and my whiskers ruffled,
then I’m ready for a well earned snoozle on my bed.
Today
Maid was in the Bliss Spa and in addition to my luxurious spa pampering which
included an inspection of my ears; she fed me ten of the fabulous new kibbles
which she had in her pocket. When Manservant took his bath he then took his
turn combing my tummy. My purr went into overdrive in expectation of kibbles.
None was forthcoming so I stood up, hooked my paw round the door, hoisted it
open then walked off in a huff in disgust, my tail flicking at the end to show
my displeasure. Manservant is not trained to give me the same high levels of
personal attention as Maid.
Maid then
fed me with a bowl full of kibbles before we went to bed. They really are very
more-ish! I allowed her to give me a cuddle as her reward for being so
attentive today.
Maid’s version!
Dumpty
quite likes being in the bathroom whenever one of us has a bath.
The
rattle of the plug chain normally attracts her. She pushes the door open and
comes in, tail fluffed up, to supervise. Sometimes I will put food down for her
whilst I have a soak as she likes to dine alone, away from our other two cats.
Then we have a good groom as she’s generally purring by then.
When
she first arrived here she was full of fur clumps and had a few cuts where
clumps had been cut off and her skin had been caught. I really thought that
grooming was going to be a battle. However I was delighted to find that she adores
being groomed. She parades round the bathroom begging to be brushed. She will
roll over putting her arms up to assist with the brushing. Her tail and
trousers look wonderful when back combed.
Today
I took some kibbles in with me and she was quite eager to have them hand fed to
her. It’s ‘quality time’ for the two of us, I like it that I’m making her happy
by giving her the attention she wants and even happier today that she enjoyed
the new kibble treats.
Day 3
Word
on the street, which filtered through the open bedroom window, is that the cat
catering at
Sydney,
an old ex-mousing officer was sitting on my garden wall his whiskers and jaws
chuffling as he sucked in the scent of the kibbles, his magnificent striped
ginger fur sparkling in the morning sunshine.
Then
Cuticles, a beige young tom with white paws was playing ‘ghost mice, as he
chased leaves across the stones, when he stopped in his tracks to catch the
wonderful smell of kibbles on the breeze
Finally
Mikey-mike, a credit crunch cat who we believe has been abandoned by his humans,
popped into the garden and made a nest in the catnip bush for a snooze under
the fragrant cloud of kibbles and catnip.
I was
a bit put out by this and called security in the form of Willi Whizkas. That
catnip bush came from Althorp House, and is too upmarket for low lives like
Wills
was immediately despatched from the house to send him off, defend the territory
and all that. So I was most put out when
I glanced out of the window a bit later to see both Wills and Sydney asleep in
the sunshine together under the catnip bush tails entwined.
If
Wills thinks he is getting his paws on my new kibbles, after this disgraceful
act, then he is very wrong. Just to make sure, I wolfed every one of them down
before he came into the bedroom.
Maid’s version!
Beautiful day! A little
chilly, I opened the bedroom window, let Madam have a bit of fresh air. There’s
a catnip bush under the window which I bought back from
Mikey-mike
was hanging round. We think he’s a stray. He comes at regular times and I feed
him any scraps we have. Sometimes I buy big bags of Purina kibbles for him as I
feel sorry for him. He has his own bowl by the front gate and he announces himself with a loud yowl. He
loves attention and being stroked, but he’s a bit odd. He will meow, growl cuss
and purr all at the same time.
Day 4
Last
night I was so full of energy. I jumped off the bed and played gallopy-gallopy.
Something I haven’t done since I was a kitten, I’d forgotten what fun it could
be.
I
thundered up and down the lounge, the hallway, in and out of Maid’s bedroom,
crashing into things, my eyes wide and my ears back. I haven’t had so much fun
for years.
At
one point I was whizzing round and crashed into Dippi-Duck. By the time she
realised what had happened, issued a tongue curling hiss then wobbled and fell
over, I was halfway round the house again.
I had
a good 20 minutes session of gallopy-gallopy and even ignored Manservant when
he shouted at me from his bedroom to stop making so much noise.
My
paws were red hot from running all over the carpets and I was quite out of puff
after the sixth circuit of the house.
I was exhausted at 5am when I
climbed back on my bed, and hungry too, so I pestered Maid until she woke up
and very groggily put my buffet bar on the bed. Then she moaned about the noise
I made crunching kibbles. Dippi-Duck jumped on the bed for a sniff of the
kibbles, but she hasn’t tried them yet. Good, they are too good for her I had a
bit of a snooze with Maid and was still asleep when the alarm went off at
I
thought that I may have been so tired after my exertions that I would have
slept all day whilst my staff was at the place called work, but instead I was
quite perky.
Maid’s version
Dumpty
doesn’t do what normal cats do. She’s an airhead, a complete bimbo!
I suspect
that she was never really played or interacted with much before we had her.
Over time we have introduced a range of toys and games all of which have been
dismissed by Madam with a snort of derision. She loves fresh catnip but will
not go outside to sit in the sunshine by the bushes like the other two do. She
does like Culpeper catnip mice and will happily play with one on the bed before
soon becoming bored.
Last
night I could have crowned Dumpty! She normally sleeps right through the night
on the bed with me and is the only cat I know who doesn’t snore!
However
in the early hours of last night she was thundering round like a pantomime
horse. Crash bang wallop, I half expected the furniture in the lounge to be
arranged. She’s never been so energetic! She even jumped on then straight off
my bed a couple of times to torment me! Little monkey. It’s good to see her so
happy.
Needless
to say when I got up at 7am she was on her back dead to the world with a tummy
full of kibbles. She didn’t even give me the courtesy of opening an eye when I
went to work!
Day 5
Willi
Whizkas made it into the bedroom and onto my duvet. If Maid catches him he’ll
be for it. He’s not allowed on the bed as he goes outside then comes in with a
collection of twigs wet leaves and slugs secreted in his pelt which magically
fall out of his fur and onto the bed. Later Dippi-Duck wobbled into the room
and lobbed herself onto the bed to have a snooze on the pillow.
I do
not appreciate company and so let out a low, menacing growl, which was just
ignored.
Dippi-Duck a small Persian, Little Dumpty Roo our Himalayan Lynx and
Willi Whizkas a mischievous Maine Coon
Wills
slithered up the bed and snuggled up to me. Then, very slyly, as he was purring
to me in the hope I would be distracted, Willi Whizkas stretched out a paw and
hooked one of my kibbles. Into his mouth it went, followed by another, then a
third. This really was taking advantage!
A loud
distressed mewl from me sent Maid running into the room and with a flick of the
tea towel, Wills was scufted off. He ran off at great speed.
Dippi-Duck
doesn’t eat kibbles and has a clean pelt, so she was left to sleep on the
pillow. I wasn’t too happy about this, as she is very common; she is a mere
Persian, whilst I am a highly exulted Royal, Imperial Himalayan Lynx!
Maid’s version
Willi
made it into the bedroom. He can smell cat food from a mile off that’s why we
call him ‘Gut-Truck’! He has a habit of collecting flora and fauna from his
external expeditions, then dropping the detritus in the house. He was stretched
on the bed slyly picking Dumpty’s kibbles from the bowl with his claw and
popping them into his mouth, so he was evicted from the room.
Dumpty
and Wills do get on and occasionally cuddle up on the bed. But Dumpty does not
like Dippi-Duck at all, and will growl at her when she jumps onto the bed, but
basically it’s just handbags at dawn with the two of them. Dumpty is always
first to growl, but is a big coward. Poor Dippi is so shaky she falls over when
she growls, so there’ll never be a full blown fight. Once they’ve had a little
hiss and growl at each other they tend to get quite close then go to sleep.
I’ve
tried Dippi-Duck on the new kibbles, without success. Not so surprised, it’s
taken almost 5 months to get her to eat proper cat food. Weaning her off
packets of ham and beef was a struggle and it was a major miracle when she
finally tried some of the Purina One food from a sachet put out for Willi. She
is going to be a long term project to rehabilitate, but she is very loving.
She
had been on the point of death when she was rescued. Her mouth was sealed over
with blood and saliva; it’s possible she had been in an accident. She was
damaged at birth and constantly shakes her head up and down, especially when
trying to concentrate. She cannot walk straight, her paws go anywhere but where
she intends them to be, and she constantly falls over. The vet says if her
brain damage, due to being pure-bred, doesn’t bother her, then it should bother
us. Dippi-Duck thinks she is a large as a lion and twice as fierce! She really
has big-cat attitude!
Day 6
Today
I did sociable. Maid took me outside on my halter and lead. She then sat on the
wall as I sat on the grass in the cold winter sunshine at the front of Tom Cat
Towers as various humans walked by giving me admiring looks and making comments
as to how exquisitely beautiful I am.
Maid commented that I am on a
new diet which I seem to have taken to very well. One lady stroked me which I
really do object to. You never know where humans have been!
Postie
came by with some fan mail for Willi Whizkas and he stroked my gorgeous soft grey
fur saying what a wonderful pair of mittens I would make. I was complimented
that he saw me as a potential fashion item.
I
enjoyed sitting in the sunshine, however I then had to be picked up and bought
inside as I do not do grass or walking on tarmac. My delicate paws are intended
to walk only on the finest wool carpets.
I then sat the dining table watching
the blackbirds in the garden as Maid read Willi’s fan mail aloud to him. He
just yawned and fell asleep which I thought was incredibly rude. Any mail I
receive I make a point of sitting with Maid ensuring a reply is sent by the
next post. I have impeccable manners due to my superior breeding of course. I
did get Christmas presents sent to me and I was chuffed to get mainly Culpeper catnip
mice and I have made sure that my thank-you letters have been sent out by Maid.
After
such a busy afternoon Maid escorted me to my duvet, she then poured some
kibbles out onto my buffet bar and left me to eat them before a good stretch
and a comatose snooze.
Maid’s version
I took
Dumpty out into the front garden on her halter and lead as it was quite a sunny
day, albeit a bit chilly. She doesn’t do much as her eyesight is very poor, but
she likes to sit on the wall or the grass with me as the world passes by. She
never has shown any interest in going outside on her own. She’s just a lazy
lady who likes to snooze away the days inside.
In
the summer she sometimes sits outside on a static lead in the shade of the back
garden by the pond. As long as she can see me, she’s happy. She tends to panic
if left outside on her own. She sometimes like to walk round the garden if I’m
cuddling her, she loves to listen to the birds chattering in the trees.
Day 7
Today,
I have had to discipline Maid. She got up late and didn’t go to the place
called work where she vanishes most days with Manservant leaving me to enjoy the
peace of the day on my bed.
Instead
of immediately offering me my personal buffet bar with a heap of those gorgeous
new kibbles, she went into the kitchen and made coffee for Manservant and
herself before getting back into bed. I purred and sashayed up the bed,
flicking my tail tip in mild annoyance at the poor service I was experiencing,
but still the kibbles were not forthcoming as she pulled my nice warm duvet
over her head and dozed for another hour.
Something
had to be done to register my extreme annoyance at being ignored, so I gracefully
leapt from the bed, and with my head proudly erect, tail hoisted straight into
the air and fluffed up, to let her know how disgusted I was by her disgraceful
behaviour, I went into Manservant’s room and took up residence on the hard
floor behind his headboard. I stayed there all day to make my feelings known.
Apparently
I wasn’t missed.
I
then let myself down by thundering into the bedroom and hurling myself onto the
bed in a most unladylike manner when the kibbles were shaken into my crystal
bowl much later in the day. I ate like a starving alley cat!
Maid’s version
Dumpty
disappeared first thing this morning, and we didn’t see her for the rest of the
day. We always know where she is. She is behind the bed in the other bedroom.
It’s her haven where she feels safe or somewhere she can go and sulk when she’s
being a Dowager-Diva! She can spend all day there and won’t come out even when
called. If I go and look at her she will close her eyes, as if this makes her
invisible! She ignores all attempts to try and seduce her to come out, so I
leave her to it.
She
will put in an appearance when she is ready and not before.
She
was rather eager to eat her cat-kibbles when she did decide to grace us with
her presence!
Day 8
I am
thinking of asking Maid to stand in the naughty corner for half a day.
She had
been on ‘human catnip’ called champagne which makes her do daft things. She
picked me up as I graciously allowed her to cuddle me. She then blew a
raspberry on my tummy and giggled as she told me I was filling out nicely, and
then to add insult, she asked if I was having kittens.
Kittens?!
Me?! I’m a career Diva, where on earth do I find time for kittens? I don’t even
know how you make kittens, although I understand Tom cats are involved in some
way. If that’s true then no thank you. The motley male moggies that trundle
through the gardens here at
Tubby
tummy, that’s what she said, although Maid then tried to dig her way out of the
hole by saying that the slight weight gain suited me.
I ate
my kibbles a little slowly this evening, as clearly gobbling then down in one
go is making me put on weight! I took my time and made them last as long as I
could.
Maid’s version
Dumpty
is looking really good. She has put on a little of the weight which she needed.
We had a cuddle something I never thought would happen when we first had her as
she was such a skittish kitty and would struggle out of my arms and hide under
the sideboard in the lounge, worried blue eyes peeping out at me.
Hugs
are always at Madam’s pace and when she has had enough she’ll let out a little
‘mew’ of irritation and slither out of my arms in a huff.
It
would have been lovely to have had her as a kitten, and then she wouldn’t have
the issues she has now.
What gives me
confidence in this trial is that Dumpty always comes first, and Purina call
regularly to see that all is OK and if there are any problems (nope, it’s going
better than I hoped knowing how pernickety Madam’s dietary demand can be).
Before we were ‘approved’ for the trail we were contacted by their vet nurse
who was quite in depth with questions about Dumpty and her health and well
being.
Day 9
This
morning I fancied some exercise. After stuffing my face with kibbles from my
crystal bowl, then a good lick-wash round my furry bits I presented myself to
the world as I jumped off the bed and ambled into the front room where I took
up residence by the French windows.
This was a signal for Maid to
open the glass window panel, place a selection of cheap pet food kibbles kibbles
and raisins on in a pot just the other side of the glass on an old brick then
she closed the glass almost too, leaving it just a crack open about 2”. Within
a minute one of my pet blackbirds was down feasting at the food fountain just
inches from my face. I really love watching my pet blackbirds and would never
hurt them. I like to fill my lungs with the smell of them.
So I
was very annoyed when, from around the corner of the kitchen patio Dippi-Duck
appeared and lunged at my birds. Because she cannot walk properly she stands no
chance ever of catching one as she wobbles shakes and falls over. The birds
aren’t too bothered by her as they know she’s physically disadvantaged. But she
doesn’t know she has these physical problems and will tackle anything, silly
girl! Why bother trying to catch your own food when humans give much superior
ready-made nosh to you that you don’t have to separate fur or feather from?
The
birds also know Willi Whizkas is no threat, he’s so old and useless, they
almost land on him, how can that cat have respect for himself?
So,
Dippi-Duck had frightened my blackbirds off. Nothing left in the day to do
except, snooze, cat-nap have 40 winks, catch a few zzz’s and a cat-kip before a
plate of kibbles then the serious business of a good nights sleep in bed with Maid.
Maid’s version
When
Dumpty started to get more confident here at
On
warm days I’ll open the window a little bit so that she can smell them. She’s
never been tempted to try and put her paw out of the window to touch or catch
them. She’s just fascinated by the entertainment for our airhead!
She
likes to chunter, chuffle and mew at them. The birds are not at all bothered to
be breakfasting just inches away from claws and fangs! When she’s had enough,
she bimbles back to the bed and has a good snooze.
Day 10
You simply
cannot get the staff. Maid went off for the day and Manservant was left in
charge of feeding us.
Service
was not up to the usual standard. A tin of something was scraped out onto a
plate on the floor for gingie-crew who both dived in as if they were starving.
Food was all over their whiskers and spilled onto the floor which they greedily
lapped up. How undignified!
I sat
with a look of utter contempt on my whiskers waiting for my proper food to be
served. Soon my kibbles had been poured into a white Wedgwood dish and I was
scooped up in order for me to eat in peace and quite away from the dreadful
slurping noises from the other two on the floor.
I
daintily ate my dinner on the draining board. Too many kibbles had been poured
out for me to finish and I was shocked that Manservant emptied some of my bowl
of kibbles onto the remnants of gingie-crew‘s food and then, when they were
full, put it in the bowl marked ‘dog’ then put it outside for Mikey-mike, who
was round in a flash to snaffle the scraps!
I was
horrified; I cannot wait for Maid to come home. This feeding fiasco would never
happen when she is in charge of catering.
I jumped down from the
draining board, past the gingie-crew who were both licking splatters of gravy
off their faces and whiskers and even off the floor. How Common! I went to have
a snoozle in a paper bag I found on the carpet.
Maid
came back very late and I had a midnight feast at 2am on my duvet whilst she
told me all about her day in a place called
Maid’s version
I was
away today in
Day 11
Today
Maid lifted the blinds and threw open the window. The cool breeze ruffled my
whiskers and it wafted through the window.
Apparently
I am Top Class Tom Cat Totty!
However,
they will never get to meet me as I only go out on a halter and lead with a
human escort as a bodyguard. I really am not your every-day average moggy.
Outdoor really has no appeal, all that cold grass under my paws. And dirt,
well, I just even don’t want to think about walking on dirt. Yuk! Mingling with
common cats has absolutely no appeal for me. I just about tolerate the
gingie-crew being allowed residence in the same house.
Today
I had my grooming session in the picture window of the Bliss Spa Executive
Suite. Here I can pat a dangling Culpeper catnip mouse as Maid gives me a good
brush. The blackbirds were hopping about and overhead were seagulls which were
fascinating. I enjoyed it so much I purred my ears off. Then I had some kibbles
on the sink unit.
Top
Class Tom Cat Totty? That one made me smile as I gorged on my kibbles. Still,
at least the common cats acknowledge my regal sexiness!
Maid’s version
I
opened the bedroom window to see
Mikey-mike
came for his usual feed of scraps twice a day.
I
gave Madam a good groom on the kitchen work surface where she could sit and
watch the birds whilst I brushed her. She had a really good purr and seemed the
enjoy it, she didn’t want to jump down and wanted more brushing, so we had a
good half hour session, then I fed her with kibbles.
Picture window of the Bliss
Spa Executive Suite at
Day 12
Screams
from Maid bought me plodding from the bedroom to the kitchen this morning to
see what all the fuss was about.
There on the mat was a mouse,
and a grinning Willi Whizkas. He was soon sent packing down the garden as Manservant
put the mouse in a plastic tub so it could recover.
Wills
and Dippi-Duck spend hours and hours sitting at the bottom of the garden, their
noses firmly under the shed sniffing at the mice that live there. I doubt Wills
actually caught the mouse, he’s too stupid, it must be another cat’s cast-off
I
cannot understand why the gingie-crew are so obsessed with sitting outside in
cold, wet weather supervising the comings and goings of the mice population,
how boring. I would much rather be on my white duvet, grooming my luxurious fur
than coming in with cold wet paws and a collection of twigs and slugs in my
pelt like the gingie-crew do having feasted on a tough old morsel of mouldy mouse.
Have
gingie-crew got no standards? I simply cannot understand why they feel mice and
birds can be tasty when I have such wonderful kibbles to eat.
Maid’s version
Flippin’
Willi Whizkas! Another rodent, this time a tiny mouse, bought in from his night
time forays.
We
let it recover in a plastic tub and showed it to Dumpty who was quite
fascinated. Clearly she didn’t think it was as tasty as her kibbles as she
didn’t seemed too interested in catnip patting it and made no attempt to catch
it she just yawned and wondered off.
Willi
Whizkas used to be mustard at catching mice. He would bring them home by the
brace! Neighbours used to complain about him thundering over their conservatory
roof and then shimmying down a drainpipe to get at mice nests in their garden!
Many
is a morning when I’ve almost trodden on a perfectly dismantled mouse on the
doorstep and the big ginger Gut Truck sitting there, beaming with pride!
He’s
getting to be a bit of a clapped out old mogster these days, he’s nearly 12
years old and likes to spend his days sleeping in his snoozzee or under a bush
in the garden soaking up the sun into his fur as he gently nods off.
Day 13
Today
was gloriously sunny. But too cold to open the bedroom window.
After
my kibbles Maid took me outside and sat with me on her knee on a wicker chair under
the pergola. Then with a fine comb we had a really good grooming session, a
sort of spring clean for my fur. I feel like a real beauty queen as my fur
ripples in the breeze. I was amazed how much fur came out. Enough to make six
kittens!
We
then sat in the cold sunshine as Maid had a coffee break and told me how she
fell in love with me when she first saw me and is so happy that I’ve allowed
her to be my personal staff. I must admit I’m very happy here at
We are looking forward to
summer. Sometimes I sit on my halter and static lead by the pond, and Maid puts
up an umbrella to make a pavilion to keep the sun off me. Last year I fell in
the pond and had to be rescued so I shall be wary of the water, but it will be
nice to sit out with a bowl of kibbles and my staff as the sun goes down as
Maid drinks that funny red wine stuff. That always gives her a headache next
morning.
Today
was also ‘Mewsletter Day’. I hate Mewsletters, Maid turns on her computer,
pours a glass of red wine then sits down to read the screen, and attention to
me and my needs plummets to zero for hours as she reads, comments and giggles.
I am not amused. Mewsletters should be banned!
Maid’s version
Dumpty
is looking fabulous. I took her outside and groomed her under the pergola. Her
pelt is looking really healthy and even has a bit of a gloss on it. She does
like being groomed. Then we just sat and looked at the garden for a while. I
let her go and she waddled straight back into the house and onto the bed for
her kibbles. No intention of exploring the garden at all. Totally not curious!
When I put her out on her static lead by the pond in summer, she has no
inclination to look around her or be curious about what’s in the pond; she just
sits there waiting to be brought back into the house again. Complete air-head!
Today
I got my regular Mewsletter; the missive compiled by the Mewsers, a group of very
intellectual tom cats in
Freelance-felines
also contribute articles, so maybe Dumpty may put paw to the keyboard and go
into print?!
Day 14
I
gave Maid the afternoon off. Both
human’s put their best plumage and perfume on then went out about
They
were not back by
I
stood up on my duvet with a welcoming smile on my whiskers, only to be ignored
as she took off her posh-frock and slithered into her staff uniform of a black
nightie.
Only then did she think to
shake some kibbles into the crystal bowl. By then I was so starved, I could
have eaten the pillows.
This
is the last time I will allow staff to have time off, apart from going to the place
called work so that I can snooze the day away in peace, if this is how they
take advantage of me.
Maid’s version
I
forgot to feed Madam before we went out for lunch. Which would explain why she
was so keen to eat her kibbles when we got home? I’ve never know her to be so
keen on food as she is with these kibbles, she even recognises the rustle of
pack when I pick it up! Something quite
strange happened today. Dumpty drooled. She actually drooled onto the duvet
cover, old slobber-chops! Whether it was hunger or anticipation of her kibbles,
but something got her excited!
She looks a lot
better since starting these Purina kibbles. I must admit I was a bit skeptical
when I began the trail two weeks ago. I did say that it was all down to Little
Dumpty Roo. If she turned her nose up at the new food as she has with so many
other products, then that was the end of her participation in the trial. We
will not force her to do anything she doesn’t want to. Life is very much lived
at the pace she wants and dictates, and we tailor our lives around her wants
and needs as we just loved her from the very moment we first saw her. No way
were we walking away and leaving her after we had first seen her and very
gently cuddled a very scared little girl-cat who just wanted a new home where
she would be so much loved for the rest of her days!
My Email teddietumpkins@virginmedia.com